Multitasking mothers are bearing the brunt

This post is taken from an article published in the Daily Telegraph on 22nd January. It’s written by Judith Woods, but so resonated with me that I wanted to repost it here.

“If you want something done, ask a busy woman. So the adage goes. But what happens when all the busy women are buckling at the knee, straining beneath burdens that were tough at the best of times and feel impossibly challenging in these, the worst of times?

The Sandwich Generation, supporting children below and elderly parents above, is having the stuffing knocked out of it. New research from University College London has revealed a hugely alarming midlife mental health crisis.

Among those who turned 50 last year, 20% overall are suffering from mental ill health (women 23% and men 17%).

Women are busy trying to do their own job, while homeschooling children and fruitlessly speed-dialling social services about elderly parents and in-laws shielding out of sight at the other end of the country.

I fully accept that mothers in particular are society’s multitaskers, taking on roles unbidden as they arise, putting in the hours of emotional labour each family member requires.

But that doesn’t make any of it easy. Midlife for parents is a perfect storm of peak career stress, wrangling teenagers while rearing their younger siblings and the increasing dependence of ageing parents. Throw Covid-19 into the mix and it takes a turn for the nightmare-ish; family businesses closing, redundancies, students left isolated, young adults in crisis.

The exhaustion of working a double shift of paid and unpaid graft is taking its toll, on women in particular.

Something has to give. Tragically, that something appears to be our sanity and I don’t think handing out leaflets on mindfulness will cut the mental health mustard.

But the first step towards tackling this taboo is an acknowledgement of what is happening and to whom. Only then can we map a way forward for all our sakes.”